It sure has been a while

Since my last, well second to last post, a lot has happened. On September 27th we had our second baby. It's a good story, and what do you know, I have a bit of time to tell it. Well, Mondays are usually ten hour days where I work. However, I started off the day crying, I suppose balling my eyes out is a more accurate description. Everyone kept asking, "no baby yet?" I was forty weeks, exactly, it was my due date. I was really hoping that the baby would come early because I was working really hard in order to have a VBAC. So, when it seemed like I would go past my due date I was starting to get scared because I really didn't want to have another c-section. Nonetheless, I wanted to punch people in the face every time they asked me about having the baby. I felt so discouraged because I wanted her to come so bad, I even tried bribing her with a pony. But nothing worked. And my attitude got progressively worse throughout the day. Anyhow, because I was crying my direct supervisor felt sorry for me, and let me go home after an eight hour shift. It takes about ten to fifteen minutes for me and my husband to get home after clocking out for the day. As soon as we got to the front door of our house, as soon as Josh opened the door I said, "Holy crap, my water just broke. This can't be pee, I just peed before we left work, and it wont stop." My water seriously broke. Which by the way is one of the most disgusting things ever, its like you are constantly wetting your pants. UGH! Anyways, Josh had to follow me through the house with a towel. Thank God that I asked my mom to come down from Charlottesville the night before to help us that week, because amidst all of the drama of my water breaking and having to go to the hospital I don't know if we would have been of sound mind to find someone to watch Michael(our oldest son) in such a short period of time. Anyhow, we finally got to the hospital. And leave it to me, I asked the receptionists for some paper towels to clean up my mess. I had to stop at the desk to see what I needed to do because I hadn't registered with them, oops. I told them that I might need a lot because my water broke and I was still leaking. Sorry for the excess information, but its funny. They told me to just go upstairs and they would take care of it. I didn't feel too bad, I mean I was in labor. Anyhow, when I got into a room the nurses had a hard time finding the heartbeat where it was supposed to be, so requested an ultrasound. And the baby was transverse, sideways. And because my water had already broken we had to have a c-section despite all of my efforts. Thankfully, God gave me a peace of mind about that. I know that I did all that I could do, I ate healthily and worked out throughout the pregnancy, I only gained fifteen pounds, and there was nothing I could have done about the baby's position. I got to experience a few hours of labor, I remember the uncomfortable feeling and a little fear of change with every contraction, I'm assuming that is what labor feels like, emotionally for the latter. It was nice having a couple of our really close friends come to see us and pray with us before I went back to the operating room. We had Meghan Isabelle at 9:58 pm. She was beautiful and weighed exactly eight pounds. I told the anesthesiologist that I didn't want to be drowsy after the surgery so he just gave me the epidural and that was plenty. I remember everything. I even remember feeling the surgeon lift Meghan out of me, which satisfied me, for not have chosen the c-section, that was the best I was going to get. With our first baby they gave me Demerol as well as the epidural to chill me out a little. The doctor said that I was definitely more relaxed this time, so there was no need for the other medicine. It was nice we had our family and a few close friends their late to see me after getting out of the recovery room and with our baby. Sorry for being so long winded, but that is our birth story.
After being at home with Meghan for a little over a week, she had lost almost two pounds, nearly 20% of her birth weight. We switched to supplementing with formula after breastfeeding so she would re-gain the weight. She gained a few ounces, but on the Saturday after her appointment, she would not wake up enough to eat. She actually slept from 11:00pm Friday night till 6:30 Saturday morning, which is unacceptable for a 12 day old infant. On Saturday morning we could not get her to stay awake any longer than a couple of seconds and she wouldn't eat. We had her in the doctor's office by 8:45am. She was in the ER shortly after that because she was unresponsive and dehydrated. At the ER they ran so many tests, and everything came back normal. Poor Josh had to watch them hook her up to IVs and draw blood, I would have been a disaster instead of the mess that I was at home with Michael. Around 3:00 that evening they did a spinal tap, and they decided to transport her to UVA in Charlottesville. The spinal tap came back positive for infection, and it was a good chance that it was meningitis. It was confirmed before we left via ambulance for UVA that it was meningitis. Besides seeing my newborn hooked up to machines and IVs one of the scariest things was seeing everyone in masks. But I understand they had to wear it because meningitis is so contagious. We stayed in UVA through Wednesday, left on Thursday. It was not bacterial meningitis and they didn't identify which kind of viral meningitis it was. But she got better. You could see the change in her, it was so noticeable, everyone said it was like she was a completely different baby. Anyhow, we have amazing friends here in Lynchburg. Some of them made the trip up to Charlottesville to visit Baby Meghan and to pray with and for us. It was great. Only God could have placed our friends in our lives. And only God could have heard the prayers and answered the prayers of so many people. All of our family and friends who prayed for us when, as one of our friends put it, we were in such a valley. Thank you. And Thank God. Sorry for the cheesiness, but seriously only our God could perform such miracles as making my baby well again after being so sick, in such a short period of time. And only could God have chosen the people that were chosen to surround my family.
While we were in the hospital I was feeding Meghan what should have been a full feeding for nursing, and 2oz of formula every two hours. So it was obvious that I wasn't able to feed her enough on my own. Not even after pumping could I produce enough. So when we got home I tried only nursing a couple of times so she could get a bigger quantity of breast milk with the feeding. I just got more and more discouraged. So, like I always do, I figured, instead of continuing to make myself feel bad about not being able to satisfy my baby's need to eat, we switched completely to formula. Selfish I know, I could have at least kept feeding her a little. But I made the best decision for me. I will not feel guilty for that. After seeing my baby get so tiny that I could see her ribs, so tiny that it scared me, I will not chose for my baby to be hungry again, if I can at all help it. By the way, that reminds me, I have a couple of books I need to return to my neighbor.
So, the coming of this new baby has provided us with a whirlwind of anxiety and excitement. Nothing has worked out as was planned, until now. There was no VBAC, I was not able to breastfeed for her first year of life, and she got so sick so soon after birth. But Josh has given me a new opportunity to experience something natural. Tonight we started cloth diapering, again for Michael, and for the first time with Meghan. I am so excited. Anyhow, that's about it, that's enough in my opinion.

posted under |


Misplaced Musings said...

Sometimes, when things don't go as planned, all you can do is find things that help you keep your perspective. So when Meghan looks into your eyes and grins a dimply grin, you will know that you hold in your hands the most important gift of all. A healthy, breathing baby. (bring her over when you need a break, we love holding babies!)

Post a Comment

Newer Post Older Post Home


Recent Comments