I'm kind of bummed. On Thursday of last week, I believe, I found a post on Craigslist by someone looking for help with a nonprofit organization that they are trying to start. There was a lot of detail, so it looked legit. Basically, this anonymous poster was looking for free help to set up their basement and other things to provide food, clothing and baby items to families in need. I read this and I was like, "this is wonderful." Of course I was sold, right off the bat. For a little while now I have wanted to do the same thing, only more focused on moms or single parents, you know. Part of my big dream not only includes helping meet the basic needs of those who are having trouble doing so on their own, but also some kind of relationship building stuff. Obviously, I don't have everything in my head worked out enough. I also haven't spent much time trying to work out all the details either. Somewhere along the line I have been able to convince myself, 1)that I could never start anything like this, 2)even if I did start it, I wouldn't be able to continue it because it is just be too much, and 3)this is just another one of my wild dreams that will never happen, because I am a dreamer, and not a do-er. Anyways, like I said, I was so excited when I found that post. Who cares that there would have been no compensation? So I emailed Mr/Mrs. Anonymous, and still have not gotten any response. (Big ol' Sigh) Oh well. I guess its not really Craigslist's fault. Its nobody's fault, I may just be jumping the gun, who knows. This idea would have been great for the babies too, if it were real. Since Michael was born I have wanted to get more involved, I want us as a family to volunteer more. My dream for when the babies get older, even a couple years older, I want us to spend Christmas volunteering. I want my babies to know that Christmas isn't about us, and what we get or what anyone else gets under the tree. What is important is what we can do that is meaningful for someone else. Its not necessarily that us giving or doing is the important part. I don't know, apparently, I don't have that idea worked out completely either. I suppose the point is that I don't want my family to be so self-centered that they are pulled into our typically materialistic way of thinking, "what is there for me?" Not meaning to offend anyone. This is just something that I have had to work on with myself. I used to have a very, me me me attitude, and it was metaphorically beat out of me. Now that I have babies I have the opportunity to prevent that kind of way of thinking from manifesting in their little hearts. Anyways, something will come of this. Maybe, this is God's way of firing me up to get connected with people who could help me make this dream come true. Or, maybe, I will actually hear back from Mr/Mrs. Anonymous.

Wow, (phew), now that rant or whine session is over, I can get on with the fun stuff. Tonight I made fried rice and General Tso's Chicken. I tried to feed the fried rice to the babies. I was thinking, "This has protein-eggs, and vegetables-peas, this is a great dinner." Yeah, too bad they didn't feel the same way. Lately, they have been in an "I'm going to throw all of my food on the floor mood. well all that I can until mommy gets frustrated enough to move me away from the table." As long as I am sitting at the table with them they don't usually get it all on the floor. But still. GRRRR! I am not liking this phase at all. I think Meghan is just doing what she sees Michael do though. Anyhow, after their little rebellions I proceed to tell them that they aren't getting anything else to eat. I then give them another chance, if that fails then they really don't get anything for the rest of the night. I can't let them think that they can throw away the not as good tasting but better for you food, just so they can get fruit and yummy animal crackers. Anyhow, this was my first time making fried rice without a season packet, and me and my husband agreed that it was better without the packet. However, I did use a season packet for the chicken. Even though it was great, I still want to learn to make General Tso's without the packet. I've never read the ingredient list of those packets, but it can't be too terribly healthy, I suspect there is a lot of salt in them. Anyhow, I need to go and prepare myself for another day, who know's maybe the babies will give me a break and spare my dining room floor of whatever disgusting mess they can find to cover it in. Here's to wishing, right?

For Michael's first Easter he was gifted a very good version of the Easter Story book. I mean this is a great book. Michael loves this book. It has been in heavy rotation lately. Whenever we sit down to read he is sure to grab this book. He may not be able to pronounce Jesus well, but I love that he still tries and can identify him. Anyhow, of course the book shows Jesus in the locked room with the disciples with open arms. On His hands the illustrator put little red dots. Michael will turn to that page and as soon as he gets my attention he will show me Jesus's boo boos, and proceed to kiss them in the book. This is important. I was not raised as a Christian, and I don't recall ever being told about Jesus and salvation. But I do remember my grandmother having a big picture of Him hanging on her bedroom wall. I also remember as a young child waking up to a (in my child mind) nightmare. I was dreaming about Jesus dying on the cross. In my dream I knew he was in a lot of pain. But I didn't understand it. I woke up crying, and telling my mom that I wanted Him to come back. My mom simply tried to comfort me, told me that He died a very long time ago, and that He couldn't. She still didn't tell me why He had to die. I'm not sure that she knew how to explain it to such a young child. I don't blame her though. I was probably very dramatic, and she probably just wanted to go back to sleep herself. Nonetheless, I don't want to make the same mistake. Michael is still very young, nearly three. So, for now I just keep trying to tell him that they are good boo boos. Soon, I know he will ask me why Jesus's boo boos are good and his are bad(less bad, and more unfortunate). Then I will be able to tell him the story behind the boo boos, and I can't wait. I feel so blessed to be able to have this kind of opportunity and responsibility, to have to be able to explain at least a little bit about our Lord so simply that a child can understand. . . eventually.

Today has been a very trying day, emotionally or mentally speaking. All day it has been like I was stuck in one place. It was just like I couldn't function. I take that back, I was able to muster enough strength, energy, motivation, I don't know whatever you want to call it to make some whole wheat sugar letter cookies for Michael. Okay, there is another truth that I stretched. . . just a little. They were for me and Josh, only because Michael has a super sweet tooth and it is never satisfied, he loves sugar. Grrr, there went the first year and a half to two years of being very strict on his sugar consumption. Whatever, children will be children, in some cases I suppose. Anyhow, instead of just laying around and wasting my night on Netflix I took the initiative to be some what productive. Ha, I'm blogging. I guess its a matter of opinion. Anyways, due to a challenge we were given last Thursday by SortaSuperMom, I am going to tell you why I am thankful. Even though most of my day was filled with an empty nastiness. Hebrews 12:28 says, "Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, 29 for our “God is a consuming fire." I know my small list of things that I am thankful on earth don't even come close to what my God is building up for me on heaven. Nonetheless He has given to me everything, and that is enough. I'm sorry, I digress, here is my list. I could probably search for enough things to keep you reading for hours, however, I will limit my list to ten gifts.

1. My diaper sprayer attached to the back of my toilet: I'm sorry but it is a great thing to not have to hold poopy diapers under the bathtub faucet.

2. Hot water finally being hooked up to our washing machine: Yay! My cloth diaper cleaning techniques are advancing.

3. Caillou on Netflix. I know I am a mediocre to bad parent for letting Michael watch Caillou all day, but it really has helped keep him out of trouble, so I could get a little bit of a break today.

4. God's promise to bring a new day. . . tomorrow. I can't imagine having two days in a row like today.

5. Wonderful friends who text me out of the blue: Toni, and another dear friend. Both of them, like all of my friends, were very encouraging, today especially.

6. McDonald's grilled caesar salad: Oh there was no way I was cooking tonight.

7. My husband's ability to work late when he needs to: Yeah, I know he's missing out on family time. But there will be over time on the paycheck and I have the opportunity to blog, guilt free.

8. 8:30 bed times: Today was moving in slow motion, so bedtime was great.

9. Baby kisses: Meghan was giving kisses like crazy tonight. Her kisses are completely opposite of Michaels. Michael gives very sweet, respectable, closed mouth kisses. But Meghan, no she has to try to lick you, but it is so cute. I don't mind wiping my face off every time.

10. My big comfy bed: When I finish everything I need to do tonight I am going to bed and I'm going to pray for a better tomorrow, or at least the strength to put up a better fight against whatever this is staring me in the face.

. . . I think I hear my pillow calling me now. Soon that distant calling will be a sigh, "Oh, finally you are here."

Now that we have turned off our cable I though, hmmm, I should find something to fill our day, something beneficial to occupy the babies. So I found a free pre-school curriculum. Its called A-Letter-A-Day, however there is a 26 week preparatory curriculum based on themes. I didn't like the themes very much, so I chose my own themes. I still use the same idea though. Every week we will learn about a new letter, theme, number, color and vocab word, and all but the color will coordinate with one another. This week we are learning about the letter A, Food, One, Red, and Apple. I am also including a poem or nursery rhyme that matches the theme. It was so much fun making the learning poster. I will post pictures very soon. I know I keep promising pictures and haven't come through yet, but I promise soon. Anyhow, as part of the lesson plan I took Michael by himself with me grocery shopping, and arranged a sitter for Meghan. It was, what shall I say. . . Ummm. . . Interesting. We will definitely have to do some review. Josh says that I'm going to end up wanting to home school the babies if I continue. I'm not so sure yet. Don't get me wrong I love being in control of what my kids are learning, and being with them all day. But on the other hand, I still really want to work and not use my really expensive degree to its full potential. Maybe God will change my heart. Ultimately I want to do what He wants me to do, I know that is the only way to achieve anything.

Finally, I found one of those toddler kitchens. I saw it on Craigslist. My favorite kind of store ever. It was only $25, and the guy was so nice and thoughtful. He recognized that I had kids and a Malibu, so instead of making me figure out how to get it in the seemingly small car with two babies, he delivered it. So what its not new. My kids love it just the same. Let me just say that doing the dishes is almost a breeze now. Instead of Meghan trying to climb in the dishwasher and Michael taking dishes out of the dishwasher, they are typically content with fighting over toys in their play kitchen. I love it. Michael likes to make fried eggs and feed them to people. Children's imagination is so wonderful. Point, well points of the story, every mom needs play kitchen as long as space permits it. Who cares if your house looks like a nursery, I'm pretty sure its supposed to. And two, go to Craigslist and find those great deals, pitch a digital tent there if you have to. The wait will probably be worth it. I have gotten some great things off Craigslist. For instance, we got a free piano, a baby jumper with a tray, the kitchen, and a big dog crate, all for much cheaper than we could have found anywhere else.

Just about every Friday night me and Josh and two other couples get together, most of the time at our house, for dinner. One couple will bring the entrée, one couple will provide the sides, and the last couple will provide a dessert. These Friday night dinners have become like the nostalgic family dinners that our parents and grandparents used to have before their families separated and everyone moved in different directions. Its really nice to have a group of great people so close by that seem so much like family. But anyways, this Friday was not my turn to make the main dish. However, it was my turn to make dessert. Yay! I got a break. . . Kind of. I still felt it necessary to make things hard on myself. Instead of taking the easy way out and just making a pan of brownies, I decided to make peach cobbler. I mean why not, Its summer, and why shouldn't I take advantage of those ripe peaches. Plus, these dinners are our excuses for experimentation. So I made a slightly more healthy peach cobbler. It is what I will call whole wheat peach cobbler.

Ingredients:
-Eight peaches
-2 1/2 Tablespoons honey
-1/2 cup butter
-1 cup sugar
-1 cup whole wheat flour
-1 teaspoon baking powder
-1/4 teaspoon salt
-1 teaspoon cinnamon
-1 teaspoon vanilla
-3/4 cup milk

Instructions:
1. Peal and slice peaches
2. Preheat over to 350 degrees with 9X13 containing the butter in the oven
3. Mix slices with honey
4. In separate bowl combine the rest of the ingredients
5. After the oven is preheated and the butter has melted pour the peaches in the dish and spoon the topping over the peaches.
6. Bake for 45 minutes and serve immediately, otherwise you may have to bake it for another 10 minutes right before you serve it (thats what I did)

We ended up eating it with vanilla and caramel ice cream. It was fabulous. The cobbler even influenced one of our friends to question experimenting with wheat flour. Yay, wheat flour-1, white flour-0. Sorry, just in case you can't tell I love wheat flour, it makes me feel responsible, in a weird way.

We have a friend, Ashley, visiting with us from North Carolina, on a sort of a business trip. She has been super excited about having the opportunity to "work the farm" with her husbands grandparents lately, since she has not had much luck with finding employment in NC. Anyhow, she was explaining that her and the grandmother have been playing around with some peppers that they have been harvesting. Of course I started to feel jealous because our garden has yielded nothing but one butternut squash. We germinated the seeds in our basement and planted them outside in the heat and rain too soon. And because we didn't think that anything was going to grow we lazily allowed our garden to be overrun by weeds. Sorry, I digress, back to the Jalapeño peppers. The grandmother, by the way, who goes by Elsie(we will call her Miss Elsie) showed my wonderful friend how to make Jalapeño bites. Last night I learned Miss Elsie's recipe, and it was spectacular. It was so simple, and quick, I would not change it at all. And now I will share it with you.

Jalapeño Bites
Ingredients
-As many Jalapeño Peppers as you want(I believe we used a pound)
-1 to 2 8oz blocks of regular cream cheese
-1lb of bacon

Directions
-Halve and remove seeds from the peppers
-Fill peppers with cream cheese
-Cut bacon into pieces about the size of the peppers(Note: it is much easier to cut the bacon with kitchen shears)
-Top cream cheese filled pepper with bacon
-Bake for 10 minutes on 350 degrees
-Broil for another 5 minutes

You may have to adjust the broil time depending on the size of the bacon strips. These were seriously so good that I think I might use them as baby shower appetizers.